dating advice from my friend's mom.
“Today is your date day. I was reading in the paper, things not to do on a date, one of them was to not talk to people or text other people with your phone, when you are on a date. I guess plenty of people do this and it is rude.” [Ok, I think you are right Mrs. B. A bit strident with the texting, but ok, let’s remember our manners. I am on board with this.]
“Also, remember your table manners when eating on a date. One arm under the table, napkin in your lap, and you already know about talking while eating, because you are a freak about that, like Dad.” [The arm under the table should make in significantly harder to motor through said food, aren’t you supposed to eat as much and as fast as possible on dates??]
“Remember, to always cut your sandwich in half before taking a bite of it, and eat only a half at dinner, and take the other home or give it to the guy. Guys love light eaters, even if they say they don’t, it just seems more feminine.” [Oh I guess not. Ok, this is the first one I can’t really get on board with. #1. Why is it assumed there will be only sandwiches on this evening out? Must research correlation between Vietnam War-era courtship and sandwiches. #2. Also, eat only half your food to give the appearance as being a light eater as a means of seduction?? Who are we girls dating?? Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? Or douchey bankers? Men should be into girls eating. See, Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks or any number of European or South American films. Food = Sex!] [Addendum: Though I have mentioned to my friend Adam, “what if I am supposed to have this love at first sight experience, but then I happen to be elbows deep in a Chipotle burrito at the time - effectively bonerkilling all burgeonings of young love?” Think halfsies rule should only apply to burritos, but even then - finish them, girls! Just try and eat it in a manageable way!]
“Let him get the door for you too, unless it is way out of his way or he is clueless.” [Cute!]
“Well, that is my date advice for today, and remember not to talk about other people to the guy, especially about other guys.” [Any other people at all?? Severe. Can we talk about movies or books?]
“Have fun and let me know how it went.” [Fun??]
Love,
MOM
