Sorry for ruining television, America.
- Mom: I am so excited. A really great thing happened to me today. Get ready.
- Me: You went to Olive Garden with Dad?
- Mom: Uch. No. That would be fun, but not exciting. Ok. Something I have dreamt about for the last 30 years happened to me today.
- Me: Does this involve a young Robert Redford or Elliott Gould?
- Mom: Better! Daddy and I are now a Nielsen family!
- Me: Wait, you've dreamt about THAT for 30 years?
- Mom: It was always a secret fantasy. It is so exciting!
- Me: Basically it is still you and Dad just watching TV though, right?
- Mom: Well yeah. But people are tracking what I am watching, and it will influence advertising and my opinion will truly matter.
- Me: This is just not good. How did this happen?
- Mom: I got something in the mail and signed up. Well, gotta go - we're about to watch Celebrity Apprentice.
